Total Body Massage
So when I mentioned on Sunday that I was sore, more on that later, I had every intention of coming back on Monday and explaining WHY… well, best of intentions and all that. I’ve needed to go to the grocery store and buy things like light bulbs, and toilet paper, and you know, FOOD. But I haven’t done that either, so don’t feel too left out.
In any case, the reason I was so sore on Sunday is that Mom and I went to the local beauty college for Full Body Massages on Saturday morning. Now, you might not think that a massage = pain, but you would be wrong. I managed to keep my mouth shut, but there were many times during the massage that I was yelling “Ow, ow, ow!” in my head. The muscles in my shoulders are always very tight, and she was bound and determined to get them to loosen up. There was also one spot on my lower back, just above my right hip, that she kept coming back to.
A selection of the thoughts running through my mind, mid-massage:
“Ow, ow, ow!”
“Is she trying to push me off the table?”
“If I hear that wave crash one more time, I might pee myself.”
“What happens if I fart?”
“I hope that’s not her boob on my head.”
“My earlobes, really?”
“Okay, my armpit fat really does NOT need massaged.”
It was nice, but I’d have been happy with just the back massage. The “total body” part of it was strange… I didn’t need my arms massaged. Or my earlobes. And I could’ve done without her rubbing the lotion through my hair. Mom and I were going out for breakfast after the massages, but our next stop was my apartment for a couple of hats. We looked like we hadn’t washed our hair in weeks!
