Two Cats for Sale. Cheap.


Welcome to 2013, y’all. I hope the new year has been treating you well so far, and you have all made it home safely from whatever New Year’s festivities you found yourself at. My own new year has not gotten off the most auspicious start, but hopefully that does not signal anything as far as how the rest of my year is going to go.

I rang in 2013 at work with some coworkers after an 8 hour shift unexpectedly turned into a 16 hour one. A coworker ended up in the emergency room and was unable to make it in for the midnight shift, so I agreed to stay. I survived until 6:30am and drug my tired butt home and straight to bed. I only detoured long enough to ditch my bra and brush my teeth.

By 7:30am, my cats were attempting to kill each other in the living room. The knock-down drag out fight was not ending, and Lucy, as always, was screaming bloody murder so I had to get out of bed to break things up. And that’s where things went horribly wrong… Somehow when I scrambled out of bed, I went off the end of the bed instead of off the side and my right foot landed in a laundry hamper at the end of the bed. Unfortunately the hamper was neither empty nor full of soft clothing… the only occupant of this hamper was a hard plastic humidifier that has been waiting for me to set it up on my nightstand. I was half asleep, so I don’t really even understand what happened next, much less know how to explain it, but since the hamper was so tall, I was unable to pull my foot back out of it in enough time to keep it and me from hitting the floor.

I laid on the floor for a few seconds trying to sort out what had just happened and make sure I wasn’t broken and then got up to separate the cats. And then clean up the cat puke I narrowly avoided in the hallway because OF COURSE Lucy gorged herself when I got home from work and fed them, and then promptly barfed it back up in the hallway. That was about when I discovered that the humidifier had won a battle against my big toe, and I was leaving blood spots on the carpet in my hallway. And did I mention that this was happening in the approximately 6.5 hours that I had to sleep before I needed to get up and get ready to go back to work?

My toe is throbbing where the chunk of flesh is missing, I have carpet burn on my knee, and I’m pretty tired. Happy New Year!

Two cats for sale. Cheap.

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