Footprints on the Moon

Since I got home from work yesterday afternoon, I haven’t done much that’s productive. I did carry out the trash but that’s about it. I filled up the sink to do the dishes, but decided to let them “soak” and yeah… the dishes are still dirty.

What I have done is sleep. My sinuses have been threatening me all week long, and I was left with no choice but to take a Benadryl at work on Friday. So I came home, and crashed on the couch. Then I moved from the couch to the bedroom to have a real nap. I got up for a few hours, and then went back to bed. This morning, I got up for a few hours and then ended up curling up in bed with a book. And you got it… after about half an hour, I shut off the light and took a 2 hour nap! Now it’s only 9pm and I’m already yawning and considering bed again. That’s what weekends are for, right? Sleep?

I’m not a big fan of resolutions… I tend to look at them as just setting yourself up for failure. I’ve made anti-resolutions, and last year I made financial goals, but those were more of an extension of a process that had started a year before than resolutions. Sure, I could make an arbitrary list: lose weight, break in some Eagle Creek luggage by traveling more, curse less, whatever… that would just be setting me up to feel bad about myself in a week or two (okay, tomorrow) when I call someone a foul name after they cut me off in traffic.

Sometime after the beginning of last year though, I ran across the idea of a one word resolution. To choose one word to set your intention for the year. I really liked the idea of that. No list of specific goals to meet (or not meet), just one word… one intention… one thing I would like to see in my year. A word to meditate on as I make decisions. Now, that I can do.

So I started thinking about what words would be a good fit for this year. I considered LOVE… FORGIVENESS… ACCEPTANCE…

I lingered for a long time on PEACE.

I’m currently thinking COURAGE is the word that I’m going to choose for this year.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.” -Mary Anne Radmacher

I think COURAGE also encompasses all the other words I considered. The courage to accept myself. The courage to love myself and others. The courage to forgive. The courage to seek and find peace.

In the end, I don’t know what choosing this word will mean for the coming year, but it can’t hurt. Courage in 2010, maybe with a little bit of Peace mixed in on the side.

It is pretty much a requirement to post what you are thankful for on Thanksgiving if you have a blog, so I thought I would come over here and do that before I go to bed in just a few minutes. I have to be honest and say that there’s a large part of me that is bitter, cynical, jaded and probably more than a bit depressed that is entirely ungrateful. But the rest of me is smart enough to look around and realize how ridiculously blessed I am every day. I’m thankful for many things in my life.

… my family. They’re weird, and quirky, and wonderful.

… my friends. I don’t have a large group of friends that live in the area, but the ones I have here are awesome.

… the internet. It keeps me in touch with friends that aren’t in the area, and has allowed me to meet AMAZING people all across the country and the world. People who have been some of the greatest friends I’ve ever had, wonderful support during dark times, and people who rejoice with me when times are good.

… my job. Sure, I don’t like it so much when I’m trying to drag myself out of a warm bed at five o’clock in the morning, but especially these days, I have to be thankful for the simple fact that I have a job. I can pay my bills, and keep a roof over my head, and that’s always a good thing.

So thank you. To all of you. You’re wonderful. I’m blessed. And if you don’t mind, I’m going to go to bed, and wake up tomorrow morning the same cynical person I’ve always been.

This is the post that I hoped and prayed that I wouldn’t have to write. About an hour or an hour and a half after I posted the update last night, I got a message on Facebook to call Aunt Jane. That’s when she told me that Jason had died.

I think the best two words to describe how we are all feeling are shocked and devastated. We all knew that things didn’t look good and that he had a long road to recovery, but as he kept improving little by little, I think most of us started to hope for the best possible outcome. But yesterday he started bleeding internally, and they couldn’t get it stopped due to the blood thinners he had been on to prevent blood clots.

Right now, I really don’t want to hear about how Jason dying is all a part of God’s plan. Whether or not that is true is irrelevant. It’s just not the time. Right now, our hearts are hurting. Right now, I just want to be pissed off at how unfair life is.

He leaves behind a wonderful wife, a beautiful baby girl, and a large extended family who all loved him very much. We miss you already, Jason!

It seems like our family keeps getting the rugs pulled out from underneath us. Grandma is doing better, she’s at home, and we’re all on a 24/7 rotation to make sure there is someone there with her to help out if needed. She’s better, but there’s still a long way to go until she’s GOOD.

Then… my cousin Izzy’s husband Jason has been sick for about a week. Most likely the swine flu. But he just didn’t get better, and didn’t get better. Then Saturday night, Izzy took him to the ER because he wasn’t getting any better, and she was afraid his flu had turned into pneumonia. Turns out, it had. By last night, my mom called to tell me that they were putting him in the ICU and putting him on a ventilator. He had a temperature of 104 that they couldn’t get down and they couldn’t get his oxygen levels up. To sum it up in two words: it’s bad.

Izzy made a post on Facebook in the wee hours of the morning that there was slight improvement. Please pray that that improvement continues. They’ve got a 15 month old too, who thankfully shows no signs of getting the flu even though she’s been exposed.

So… yesterday I was looking for something for lunch since my previous lunch plans were canceled. I opened my freezer, and you usually wouldn’t think that such an act would be fraught with peril. Oh, but you would be wrong!!

Since I am sorely lacking in kitchen storage space, I keep a lot of things on top of the fridge. Apparently, I didn’t get them pushed back far enough because when I opened the freezer door, things began to fall. I managed to catch the container of flour, but the 5lbs of sugar still rocketed towards the ground. I got my feet out of the way, but the sugar container attacked my broom and dustpan anyways. Sugar pinned dustpan to the ground, and well… it wasn’t pretty.

See the aftermath for yourself:

Now just imagine what that would have done to my precious little toes!! Who needs the best diet pill when the sugar attacks you? So, now I need to go buy a new dustpan. And punish the sugar… maybe into cookies.

Hey guys! I made it to sunny Orlando, Florida. I have to tell you, I’m loving it so far. Of course, that’s not so difficult… it’s 54 degrees and rainy back home, and 80 degrees and sunny here. I’m currently sitting in a conference room at Seaworld for IzeaFest. I’m paying attention. No, really.

I actually flew into Tampa yesterday afternoon, and Colleen picked me up at the airport. The flights were okay… Delta didn’t hold on to my seat requests, so I ended up with inside seats on both flights. Yeah… I get claustrophobic. Luckily the flights were short so I didn’t have too much time to sit there and freak out. We went to dinner at Applebees, and then met up with the group at Busch Gardens for Howl-o-Scream. Mostly, we walked around and rode the coasters that were available. Colleen’s a bigger wimp than I am for the scary stuff so we didn’t do any of the haunted houses.

Finally made it into Orlando and to the hotel room closer to midnight. Right now I’m working on about 5 hours of sleep or so… I’m thinking this might be a great day to break my ban on caffeine. It just might be necessary.

I’ll try and keep you updated on the shenanigans this weekend, but no promises. I’ve not been doing good at taking pictures so far, but I am updating on Facebook, if you are a friend there. I’m also posting things to my twitter page, so check there if you’re wanting to keep up “in real time.”

Well, I said on Sunday that I’d be back to post about going down to the campground on Sunday. I left here a little after noon and got there a little after 1. And uh, spent several hours down there hanging out with them. LOL Not really much to talk about camping — lunch, s’mores, playground and just sitting around! Of course, I’m sure you already realize that posting about my trip down there is just an excuse to post gratuitous pictures of my nephew!

Eating a s’more, which he eventually abandoned in favor of just plain marshmallows.

Falling asleep in the wagon, but didn’t want to lay down, get taken out of the wagon OR go back to the camper. You’d think we were telling him stories about health insurance leads the way he crashed.

But he got a second wind once we got to the playground!

Then a shower, and settling in with a movie in the camper.

I was worn out after one afternoon– they stayed for an entire week!

This is the birthday card I got from my mom this year. How appropriate is that? lol

I’m waiting for my friend Erica to get here so we can go get some lunch, and then in a few hours, it will be time for dinner with my dad’s side of the family — chips and salsa and margaritas! Mmmm! As you might have guessed, I’m playing hooky from work today. Well, I took a vacation day, but either way, I’m not at work!

26 looks pretty good, a few hours in.

Summer hit with a vengeance this week! From cold and rainy last week to hot and humid this week, all in one fell swoop. According to the Weather Channel, it’s currently 90 degrees, feels like 97. Anyone who has been in that has a car with a thermometer insists it is 100 or 101 degrees outside. Needless to say, it’s a little toasty. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m looking forward to climbing in my oven, I mean, car for the ride home today. If I wasn’t morally opposed to the idea, it’d almost be enough to convince me to stay at work in the air conditioning.

That’s okay. I’ll brave baking my internal organs on the way home. I took the time to crank up the a/c on my way out the door this morning, so I’ll have a nice cool apartment when I get there. I don’t even want to think about how much my electric bill is going to be after these hot hot hot days!