Footprints on the Moon

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there! I spent the morning being lazy around the house, and then making some cookie dough dip to take to the cookout we had this afternoon. And then of course, I went to said cookout.

I wore my league t-shirt, so there was some conversation about roller derby. I tried to talk Elena into joining with us, but since she broke her arm the last time she was roller skating, I didn’t get too far. (Hmm… maybe this is why people keep asking me about insurance quotes when I talk about joining a roller derby league?)

Anyway, it was a nice afternoon. I got to see some family members that I don’t see very often. Now I’m at home, watching Remember the Titans on ABC Family and thinking about getting myself to bed early.

Edit to add: I almost forgot to add my weight loss update. I lost .8 this week, for a total of 18.2. I need to take my measurements again because I feel like the weight loss has slowed down (the garbage I’ve been eating may have something to do with that), but I also feel like there have been some other changes in my body just from skating 2-4 times a week!

The positive side is that I don’t really need to invest in any fitness equipment outside my skates and requisite protective gear… but sometimes I feel like I’ve signed myself up not for roller derby, but for systematic organized torture. At least that’s what I was proclaiming (amidst mutter the F word under my breath) during the second half of practice last night.

We started out practice with some on-skate endurance stuff, including knee falls, which absolutely kick my butt. My thighs will be screaming from those by the end of the day, I’m sure. Then we took off the skates and gear, swapped them for tennis shoes, and returned to the rink floor for the torture, I mean, core exercises. There were crazy crunches and planks and a whole lot of shaking arms while I held my 230 lb self off the floor with a foot and one hand.

I’ll post at some point my thoughts, feelings, observances about roller derby so far, but for now let me just say this:

Ouch.

Sunday again already? Wow… I really did mean to post something else during the week, but I just never managed to do it! The biggest problem is that I’ve been meaning to compose a post about this whole roller derby thing but I’m having a hard time putting everything into words.

Anyways, life has been busy, between work and derby and just life in general. I was definitely ready for the weekend to decompress. (I didn’t have much of choice– my thigh muscles hurt so bad from our league practice on Thursday night that I could hardly move until Saturday night!) Friday, Sarah came over and we had a very good, very needed vent fest.

Saturday, as I posted on Facebook, was a little bit of cleaning, a little bit of relaxing, and a lot of blowing my diet. Not too bad, but I definitely used all my daily points, the rest of my weekly points and half of my activity points. All on Saturday afternoon. Whoops LOL But I also got the dishes washed and the bathroom mostly cleaned.

Today I have been cleaning and purging in my bedroom. I have two big garbage bags of clothes to pass along to goodwill, and a whole stack of clothes on the shelf in my closet that I can’t wait to get skinny enough to get back into! One more size down and I’ll have some really cute pants to wear lol

I was going to go to the open skate at the roller rink this afternoon, but when I got there the parking lot was completely empty. So I figured either they canceled the skate, or else it was full of teenagers who had been dropped off. Either way, I knew I didn’t want to bother going inside! Instead I came back on and continued on the clean and purge. I still have piles of clutter, and boxes from ordering all my skate stuff, in the living room… I just need to clear all that stuff out and then I can vacuum the floors and I’ll have a pretty clean apartment! Feels good, it was out of hand for awhile!

And to keep you posted on the Weight Watchers thing… I’m down .6 this week, for a total of 16 pounds in 8 weeks. If it hadn’t been for the last 2 days, it would have been more than that, but I’ll take it. Mom saw some pictures on Facebook of me at one of the derby events and said that she can see that I’m losing weight, so that was awesome! It’s always encouraging when other people can start to see the difference rather than always being like, no really, I’m less fat, I promise!

As always, ignore those spots that require adult acne treatment… picture taken earlier this evening before I ran out to Kroger to buy some eggs so that I could make banana bread. Of course, after I got home I discovered that my bananas were too far gone to use. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

Man this weekend has seemed short! I picked up an extra shift at work last night which is probably why. Today Sarah came over and hung out for a couple hours, and then tried to do a bit of cleaning around the house, shaved my legs, and finally, took a shower.

Now I’m writing this! And as soon as I press publish I’m going to go dry my hair and go to bed. I was woken up at 6:30 this morning with a phone call from work, so I’m really tired! Plus, I have to work in the morning too. Will be very boring since it will just be me and one of my coworkers– the rest of the plant has the holiday off!

Yesterday was a really hard day. Today is still difficult. But yesterday, I had to say goodbye.

Goodbye to my 16 year old dog, Chance. Chance has been a (furry) part of my family since I was 10 years old. He lived a long, hopefully good life.

Although it has been a long time coming, it was really hard to say goodbye. After I got the phone call from Dad letting me know it was time to put him down, I went over there to see him, pet him, and let him know he was loved. I rode in the backseat with him on the way to the Humane Society while he enjoyed the breeze on his face, scratched his back and his ears. And went through all the Kleenexes I had stuffed in my pocket.

I really didn’t want to go, but Dad asked me to, and no one should have to do anything like that alone. I felt like it would have been selfish of me to say no just because it was going to be difficult. It got even harder when we were standing out front with Chance waiting for them to get organized and some ignorant lady walked by and asked, “Oh, are you taking him home?” Dad and I both hesitated before saying “No…” and rather than letting it go, she pressed on with, “Oh, he looks like a dog I was visiting yesterday so I thought he might be going home today.” I really wanted to tell her to shut up. But I guess in a way he was going home. Just to a different home, where there will be no more pain, where he won’t have to struggle to get up or climb the back steps.

The lady who was going to do it came out to talk to us and let us know what was going to happen and give her “comforting” pep talk. They don’t have the room available to allow you to be with them when it happens so she told us that she would give him a shot to take the pain way, and that she’d hug and love on him, and it would all happen very quickly and peacefully. Then she wanted him to watch us walk out the door so that she wouldn’t have to drag him away. I glanced over my shoulder on the way out the door, and that was heartbreaking. Dad and I waited in the car until it was over, and then we drove him home where Dad buried him in the back yard after I left.

So very, very hard.

Chance, you were a wonderful dog. I’m glad you could be with us for 16 and a half years. Love and miss you already, buddy. See you on the other side.

I couldn’t resist taking a picture of me in my new helmet. And pigtails. The helmet, of course, is a part of the equipment that is going to keep me from needing social security disability from playing roller derby. Yep, you heard that right, I’m trying to join a roller derby team. There is actually a new league starting up in the area. Since it had been 10 years since I’d skated prior to joining up with roller girl conditioning two weeks ago, it will be awhile before I can do all of the things required for actually playing the game. But it’s fun in the meantime! And a bit expensive.

In other news, I made up for last week’s .2 gain with a 3.6 pound loss this week. That puts me at 15.2 pounds lost in six weeks! Woohoo! Of course I celebrated by getting Long John Silver’s for dinner. *eyeroll at myself* Either way, doing well! I can’t wait until other people can tell that I’m losing weight.

I’m spending today being lazy. I don’t know how different this is from normal, but I’m being deliberately lazy and not allowing myself (or trying anyway) to feel guilty about not doing anything productive today. I’ve been so busy lately!

Dad was out of town for the last two weeks so I’ve been back and forth to his house 2-3 times a day to get the dog out. Between that and work and skating, I’ve felt like I haven’t been home in a week! Add onto that a fall I took skating last week (that left me hobbling around and feeling like I needed to look for age spot removal, aka I was moving around like a little old lady), I decided that a lazy day, or even a lazy weekend wasn’t a bad idea. So I’m hanging out on the couch with the cats and catching up on everything that’s been languishing on the TiVo without me.

I’m just trying to ignore the trash that needs to go out, the dishes that need washed, and the piles of clutter that really need to be picked up. Not to mention the litterboxes that are in desperate need of being changed. I don’t suppose I could pay someone to do that for me? My back still hurts me a bit when I bend over like that, and I’m reeeeaalllly wanting to avoid that particular task.

I completely forgot about my self portrait post yesterday until I was getting ready to climb into bed, and I couldn’t be bothered to mess with it then. So you get Self Portrait Monday instead!

I’m also due to give you this week’s progress report on Weight Watchers. Eh, it wasn’t good. I struggled to make good decisions all week, I didn’t eat much for fruits and veggies even though I had a fridge full of good options. I was busy, and I just failed to make good choices. I was technically still on plan, but not really. And that showed up in a .2 gain for the week. I’m doing my best not to let it get me discouraged. I went to the grocery store last night to pick up some new fruit and to get some stuff for dinners to have at home this week.

I’m learning that this is not a quick weight loss diet, but slow and steady wins the race. I don’t need to get it all off tomorrow, I just need to get it off. It threw me for a loop yesterday and I made poor choices through lunchtime out of frustration, but I got it back under control for dinner and have started today out on a better foot.

It’s definitely much easier to tell someone else that it’s okay than it is to take your own advice, that’s for sure!

Either way, I’m still 11.6 lbs lighter than I was when I started, and that’s a good thing.

(Wow, I really look like I need some best acne treatments… my face has been breaking out like CRAZY lately!)

Anyway… Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas out there! I hope you are ending your day feeling loved and appreciated! Of course, my furry little ingrates got me nothing, for the 3rd year running.

I spent the day grocery shopping, baking a cake, and then hanging out with my mom and her husband, my brother and my nephew at my grandma’s house! Totally blew my diet today, that’s for sure! Oh well, start again tomorrow, right?

Speaking of my diet, for those playing along, I was down 2 lbs at this morning’s weigh in for a total of 11.8 pounds lost in 4 weeks.

My furbabies, that is!

They are FOUR years old today! I can’t believe I’ve had the little balls of fur for 4 years already. I don’t think little is the word for it… Pudge was sitting on my scale this morning, and when he hopped off of it, it said 21 pounds! Guess he really grew into his name!

Their birthday usually entails getting some canned catfood and some snuggles. Might as well get them industrial hand wheels for their birthday for all the difference it makes, but oh well! It makes me happy! I’m sure I’ll stop celebrating the furry babies birthday when I have real ones someday lol